A widely shared Facebook update from Sara Sophia Eisenman on August 5 describes a different way.
“Roles I refuse to play as a wife/mother and my household is better for it:
1) Maid. Everyone gets to pitch in and help organize and clean.
2) Household shamebearer, if/when the house looks like an insane asylum because others left their stuff errywhere. If members of the household fail to complete (1) as a team, I refuse to bear shame when people see my house as disorganized, simply because I’m a woman.
3) Mediator/middle person of all conflicts. If members of my family argue and have different polarized opinions, I will not always jump into the fray to fix/bridge it. They get to fight it out themselves.
4) Free emotional laborer. I am not the requisite go-to or dumping ground for everyone’s stray thoughts and emotional processes. Relevant and important topics can be brought to me, but all members practice DISCERNMENT with regards to whether it merits that or can be easily worked through without my handholding.
5) Secretary. I am not the paper keeper, scheduling maven, or point-person for all external communications in the family.”
That’s a lot of responsibility, many of which usually default to the mother of the house. Eisenman goes on to explain how she makes more intentional choices about how to use her time:
“Just because I can, does not mean I should, or will.
These are roles that SO MANY MOMS fall into, unconsciously, and it’s a key reason WHY women remain unactualized with regards to their own dreams and low-level miserable, which in turn makes the whole family low-level (or majorly) miserable.
JUST SAY NO to roles and responsibilities that are not your own.
ALL your peeps will thrive so much more, because of it.”
Couldn’t agree more.
Are you a mom? What roles and responsibilities are you unconsciously carrying?